Clearly no one got it all right so I’ve assigned random and arbitrary points to every detail I liked as I read each one.
Examples of these include points going to:
John Clark for telling a story and randomly introducing characters in the best spirit of the twilight reign
As Bo for the six verses, wonderfully dodgy rhyming and using a word I didn’t know (I’m assuming it was used intentionally, though given the rhyming…)
Yarravalleyvino for the song I enjoyed the most, but loses one for the outright lie of “Tom Lloyd ain’t no potty-mouth”
Johann for clearly being drunk while writing the song…
Dan for the Crystal Skull called Tourette’s
Greg for returning to the shower scene theme and a disturbing level of commitment
The only answer I’m actually willing to give is the answer to the no. 3, "which occurs most frequently, love of fuck" where, at a count of 57-63, the fucks have it. As for the others, you’ll just have to read the book to find out the answers. But some of you guessed right ;0)
So without further ado, I think the winner has to be As Bo with the Trade paperback runner-up being Greg Land (from Facebook). So send me your details and I'll put copies in the post when I next am forced to leave the house!