How to look thick in public

Monday saw me reluctantly leave my nice warm flat to head on over to Cafe Royal before it closes for good. The annual Pen Literary Quiz is frankly harder than university challenge so I hadn’t signed up with the intention of looking like a genius in front of my new boss – but it sounded like it could be fun and Dara O’Briain was hosting, plus there was a three course meal and booze on offer. As anyone who knows me can testify, I’m a shameless moocher and free food is one of my favourite things!

But at the same time, I’m there on the Canongate and Atlantic table thinking I’m really not clever enough for this, let alone sufficiently well-read. Sat next to a colleague for moral support, she’s claiming the same but I know it’s a very female lie/down-playing of her intellect. Imagine how inferior I started to feel when Yann Martel sat down next to me.

This feeling wasn’t helped by the fact nearly my only contribution to the first round was was the answer ‘Paris Hilton’. Am a literary heavyweight me!

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