Now that the lovely Gollancz folk have sent me my copies of the book, I reckon I've got a spare hardback and trade paperback to give away. In the spirit of childish humour that we clearly all share, I've decided to make it a (very) mini quiz instead of just 'who wants one?' so riddle me these:
1) Who gets a tattoo of Daken’s name on his arse and why?
2) Continue the popular Palace Guard song (for as many lines as you fancy frankly): ‘General Lahk has only got one…’
3) Which occurs most frequently – ‘love’ or ‘fuck’ throughout the manuscript (in any context or use)? (and bonus point for “why?”)
Obviously, I’m not expecting anyone to get all of these right, and those who've already read the book aren't eligible, so points for entertaining answers/reasoning will go right alongside accuracy. Closing date for entries will be arbitrarily decided by me at a later date, but I reckon you've got about week since I want to post copies out in advance of the actual publication date!
Best entry Ever!
1. Doranei has that tattoo. He was drunk, so he doesn’t really remember how he got it or why. The funny thing is that he secretly likes it…
2. General Lahk has only got one eye /
The other one has been taken to the sky /
on the fly to spy on Farlans foes /
Especially those bastard Menin /
may they all die! /
– down your drink- /
General Lahk doesn’t give a fuck /
and neither do we /
mess with the whiteye general /
we would love to see you try /
you’ll die in five seconds flat, you’ll die! /
-down drink, pass out- //
3. Fuck for sure. Cause Isak Loves to give a fuck, and loads of fucks were thus given. Even when he wasn’t inclined to give said fuck, he gave it a fucking shot. Fuck yea! And he fucked up the shadow, not in a lovable way.
Re: Best entry Ever!
1) Who gets a tattoo of Daken’s name on his arse and why?
This sounds very much like Doranei.Why? I suspect he lost a bet.While drunk. Yeah, alcohol is usually involved in ish like this:)
2) Continue the popular Palace Guard song (for as many lines as you fancy frankly): ‘General Lahk has only got one…’
General Lahk has only one ball
Was chasing a wench and took a fall,
Gods help you all who have the gall,
To call him a little small.
General Lahk has only one knife,
A fearsome thing, the cause of strife,
You know it’s worth more than your life,
To liken it to a fife.
General Lahk has only one sword,
He stabbed the smith because the hilt was flawed,
He bound the hilt with a length of cord,
Then killed a hundred when he got bored.
General Lahk has only one shield
Which he has never had to yield,
He bears it proudly on the field,
But never where the ground is tilled.
General Lahk has only one horse
An eldritch thing, born of the Norse
It runs quite swiftly on the gorse
And tramples its foes with excessive force
General Lahk has only one mace
A massive thing, decorated with lace
He keeps it in a darkened place,
And strikes quite hard with it at your face.
3) Which occurs most frequently – ‘love’ or ‘fuck’ throughout the manuscript (in any context or use)? (and bonus point for “why?”)
Fuck, obviously.
Why? Because it’s often easier to insult than to compliment, to pick a fight than talk.
And you are more vulnerable baring your heart than baring your genitals.
So obviously our heroes want none of it :).
Re: Best entry Ever!
all I can say is, As Bo FTW!
Re: Best entry Ever!
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
You’re far too kind:)
Re: Best entry Ever!
I need your address to post the book to though!
Best entry Ever!
1. Doranei has that tattoo. He was drunk, so he doesn’t really remember how he got it or why. The funny thing is that he secretly likes it…
2. General Lahk has only got one eye /
The other one has been taken to the sky /
on the fly to spy on Farlans foes /
Especially those bastard Menin /
may they all die! /
– down your drink- /
General Lahk doesn’t give a fuck /
and neither do we /
mess with the whiteye general /
we would love to see you try /
you’ll die in five seconds flat, you’ll die! /
-down drink, pass out- //
3. Fuck for sure. Cause Isak Loves to give a fuck, and loads of fucks were thus given. Even when he wasn’t inclined to give said fuck, he gave it a fucking shot. Fuck yea! And he fucked up the shadow, not in a lovable way.
Re: Best entry Ever!
1) Who gets a tattoo of Daken’s name on his arse and why?
This sounds very much like Doranei.Why? I suspect he lost a bet.While drunk. Yeah, alcohol is usually involved in ish like this:)
2) Continue the popular Palace Guard song (for as many lines as you fancy frankly): ‘General Lahk has only got one…’
General Lahk has only one ball
Was chasing a wench and took a fall,
Gods help you all who have the gall,
To call him a little small.
General Lahk has only one knife,
A fearsome thing, the cause of strife,
You know it’s worth more than your life,
To liken it to a fife.
General Lahk has only one sword,
He stabbed the smith because the hilt was flawed,
He bound the hilt with a length of cord,
Then killed a hundred when he got bored.
General Lahk has only one shield
Which he has never had to yield,
He bears it proudly on the field,
But never where the ground is tilled.
General Lahk has only one horse
An eldritch thing, born of the Norse
It runs quite swiftly on the gorse
And tramples its foes with excessive force
General Lahk has only one mace
A massive thing, decorated with lace
He keeps it in a darkened place,
And strikes quite hard with it at your face.
3) Which occurs most frequently – ‘love’ or ‘fuck’ throughout the manuscript (in any context or use)? (and bonus point for “why?”)
Fuck, obviously.
Why? Because it’s often easier to insult than to compliment, to pick a fight than talk.
And you are more vulnerable baring your heart than baring your genitals.
So obviously our heroes want none of it :).
Re: Best entry Ever!
all I can say is, As Bo FTW!
Re: Best entry Ever!
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
You’re far too kind:)
Re: Best entry Ever!
I need your address to post the book to though!
The big Dusk Watchman giveaway!
1) Who gets a tattoo of Daken’s name on his arse and why?
– Well, I was going to say Legana. Daken is the only bloke man enough for her, but then, you dis say ‘him’…so, if I have to go with a guy? Isak. He’s got a brand, sure, but you have to start somewhere and Daken is a funny guy. Nah, only joshing. It’s Shim.
2) Continue the popular Palace Guard song (for as many lines as you fancy frankly): ‘General Lahk has only got one…’
– going with the obvious. It’s a well-known Brotherhood marching song :
‘General Lahk has only got one ball,
Sebe, the monkey, has two but small,
Veil, he has two larger, but Emin,
by royal charter, made it known he
had the biggest of them all.
3) Which occurs most frequently – ‘love’ or ‘fuck’ throughout the manuscript (in any context or use)? (and bonus point for “why?”)
– Love. It’s love. Has to be. ‘cos Tom Lloyd ain’t no potty mouth and wars ain’t won and and fought over bad language, they’re fought for love. Or I’d like to think so.
The big Dusk Watchman giveaway!
1) Who gets a tattoo of Daken’s name on his arse and why?
– Well, I was going to say Legana. Daken is the only bloke man enough for her, but then, you dis say ‘him’…so, if I have to go with a guy? Isak. He’s got a brand, sure, but you have to start somewhere and Daken is a funny guy. Nah, only joshing. It’s Shim.
2) Continue the popular Palace Guard song (for as many lines as you fancy frankly): ‘General Lahk has only got one…’
– going with the obvious. It’s a well-known Brotherhood marching song :
‘General Lahk has only got one ball,
Sebe, the monkey, has two but small,
Veil, he has two larger, but Emin,
by royal charter, made it known he
had the biggest of them all.
3) Which occurs most frequently – ‘love’ or ‘fuck’ throughout the manuscript (in any context or use)? (and bonus point for “why?”)
– Love. It’s love. Has to be. ‘cos Tom Lloyd ain’t no potty mouth and wars ain’t won and and fought over bad language, they’re fought for love. Or I’d like to think so.